wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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