It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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