I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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