I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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