If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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