If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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