we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dicks are not precious.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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