is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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