i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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