I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
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My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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