Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize