I got chris browned last night
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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