Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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