hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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