don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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