When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize