we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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