im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize