How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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