now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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