Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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