Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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