It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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