So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize