some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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