i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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