The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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