it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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