Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize