Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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