I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize