so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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