If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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