I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
now i know why i became what i already was.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
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Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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