I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize