the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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