bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize