After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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