I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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