Small penises have feelings too.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize