with your own penis?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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