He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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