we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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