Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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