I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize