I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
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So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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