Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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