I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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