My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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