They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize